It goes ding when there's stuff. Just the usual nerdy stuff, or funny stuff, or awesome stuff, or alien stuff, or, you know, all stuff. Have fun.
obsidian-order:

beckaford:

micahelizabeth:


“Eat” the damn Play-doh cookies.
Slurp the invisible soup.
Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.

THISTHISTHISTHIS

no but seriously it’s very important to a child’s development to not be shut down by parents and other caregivers

once when i was little i gave my mum a bowl full of buttons and she got really into pretending it was real food. when she asked me ‘is it soup?’, i turned around, and with the most disapproving glare just went ‘no. it’s buttons’.

obsidian-order:

beckaford:

micahelizabeth:

  • Eat” the damn Play-doh cookies.
  • Slurp the invisible soup.
  • Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
  • Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
  • Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
  • Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
  • Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
  • If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
  • Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
  • Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.

THISTHISTHISTHIS

no but seriously it’s very important to a child’s development to not be shut down by parents and other caregivers

once when i was little i gave my mum a bowl full of buttons and she got really into pretending it was real food. when she asked me ‘is it soup?’, i turned around, and with the most disapproving glare just went ‘no. it’s buttons’.

(via petitefluer)

Notes
240942
Posted
1 day ago
daveandjadeotp:

jetgreguar:

i’ve been comprimised 

i laughed for about 349583492547252 years

daveandjadeotp:

jetgreguar:

i’ve been comprimised 

i laughed for about 349583492547252 years

(Source: 4gifs, via madame-hobbit)

Notes
529759
Posted
1 day ago

bigeyesandstarrynights:

that was the best thing I have read in about 10 years.

(Source: best-of-memes, via madame-hobbit)

Notes
59999
Posted
1 day ago

hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

(via madame-hobbit)

Notes
253960
Posted
1 day ago

montagemode:

roachpatrol:

oliviawhen:

A solid way to accept someone’s feelings.

i’m gonna die still laughing at this

I gleefully showed this to at least four people and nobody got the joke so

(via whoviandelights)

Notes
322125
Posted
1 day ago

growlithed:

bertiebotts-theymeaneveryflavour:

breadboxes:

breadboxes:

what did vincent say when he lost his car in the parking lot 

“where did my van gogh”

the correct pronunciation of “gogh” is “goff”, you uncultured swine

fuck gogh

(via zizicat)

Notes
197752
Posted
1 day ago

dreaminghermione:

Harry Potter AU in which Fred and George are in different houses and they steal and wear each others ties whilst doing stupid things in hope of the others house losing points

(via madame-hobbit)

Notes
59838
Posted
1 day ago
catsuitmonarchy:

optimysticals:

vancity604778kid:

ultrafacts:




Source Click HERE to Follow the Ultrafacts Blog!




ALICE ROOSEVELT WAS HARDCORE. “She was known as a rule-breaker in an era when women were under great pressure to conform. The American public noticed many of her exploits. She smoked cigarettes in public, swore at officials, rode in cars with men, stayed out late partying, kept a pet snake named Emily Spinach (Emily as in her spinster aunt and Spinach for its green color) in the White House, and was seen placing bets with a bookie. 


So what I’m reading here is, she was a Roosevelt?

Well I have a new hero.

catsuitmonarchy:

optimysticals:

vancity604778kid:

ultrafacts:

Source Click HERE to Follow the Ultrafacts Blog!

ALICE ROOSEVELT WAS HARDCORE. “She was known as a rule-breaker in an era when women were under great pressure to conform. The American public noticed many of her exploits. She smoked cigarettes in public, swore at officials, rode in cars with men, stayed out late partying, kept a pet snake named Emily Spinach (Emily as in her spinster aunt and Spinach for its green color) in the White House, and was seen placing bets with a bookie. 

So what I’m reading here is, she was a Roosevelt?

Well I have a new hero.

(via thesweetpianowritingdownmylife)

Notes
111897
Posted
2 days ago

what-whatintheassbutt:

peredhelhathladring:

dylanthescientist:

doctor-choochoo:

bobbyhoying:

giantspacefetus:

My math binders are always red every year I feel like math is just a red subject

Math is a blue subject and I’m prepared to fight you over this

Excuse me bitch math is green science is blue

hell no math is blue. science is green. literature is red and social studies is yellow

image

No science and medical is blue, command and flight is yellow, and engineering and security is red

(via the-doctors-consulting-detective)

Notes
162365
Posted
2 days ago
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